Friday, August 31, 2007

...see Resistance to Change

What is I.S.? "'ism syndrom," can happen in any spiritual student community. I've also noticed it both in the course in miracles community and with some of the more prominently displayed certified facilitators of the The Work (Byron Katie's work).

I once received an invitation to a conference call with Katie and was happy to receive it and have the chance to hear Katie on the phone. So I joined the conference call at the appropriate time and day and a woman came on saying that Katie would be along shortly and that she usually pops in whenever. Katie never came on the call and we spent the hour listening to this presenter emulate Katie, her expressions, her voice, even her h'mms.. when she is pausing and bringing into words the thoughts that she tries to express in a comfortable human language for her audience. But this woman's emulation was intriguing to say the least, then another woman joined her, I guess they were collaborators in their venture. She sounded just like her, like a Katie imitator. They bring down their tone, pause between words, and use her speech patterns: "I see that" "I hear that you think that.." and repeated many known Katie'isms.

The same phenomenon occurs with different expressions in form within the course in miracles student body. And it has nothing to do with the course, but everything to do with the student. The course is threatening to the ego, and there is an immediate response from the ego to resist, lest you change your mind and be done with it!

Many resistance or defense mechanisms develop, one of them is a sudden inability to pray normally, to speak normally, to relate to others normally, behave normally or to suddenly begin channeling your own material, as if trying to one-up Jesus and his course. So you end up with a mix of run-away gurus, would-be extensions of the course by the self denominated gurus, formation of cults, publication of alternative versions to the authentic FIP and final version, etc.

Another type of resistance is to render you incapable of being honest with yourself as far as where you stand spiritually when you look in the mirror. Believe me, I've been there. When you begin to catch your ego in action and worse, when you learn not to feel guilty about its antics, what the course calls "the face of innocence" (T-31.V.4.) displays itself more and more intensely, in an effort to cover the horror that a peek at the ego has brought about ("the face of guilt") the false concept of self, which lies just beneath the face of innocence. Both cover over the Real You, the Christ that shines wholly innocent within, but One which through dissociation you have forgotten and buried and covered over with these two layers.

So, as soon as you begin to inquire into your mind, and the lid opens to the subconscious, the face of innocence makes itself more visible, and you begin to try and prove you are somehow more spiritual, more developed, on a higher level than your brothers.

When this occurs, many declare themselves 'enlightened' and run around telling people that Holy Spirit tells them even what movie to watch this evening, and use words like "dear one" and "sweetie" and "beloved" to talk to perfect strangers on the internet in order to appear to have gone beyond any form of grievance, and lose the ability to describe themselves in plain human terms as if doing so was a shameful thing, accepting only descriptions that sound somehow enlightened or more spiritual. What is not noticed is that what we are doing all along is doing precisely what the course teaches us not to do: separating.

Nothing sinful or terrible. It's just a normal, a very normal reaction from the ego part of the mind that now perceives threat because the right mind is stirring and awakening looms in the not too distant future, and this heralds the disappearance of the ego. If you were an ego.. you would move to survival mode too, which is what happens.

And since the ego is self-made, it knows what its weak buttons are in any given fragment at any given time (seeming fragment, you, me, x or y person) and so it uses the retaliative technique that will most promptly push you away from this path... but it is only resistance and this resistance is quite easily overcome if you learn to recognize the ego and forgive yourself for it rather than running away from it and spiritualizing its shenanigans, fearing that if you don't 'act' spiritual you won't BE spiritual.

Just something to notice, but it's not because of the work, or the course, it's because of the ego that the work is here to undo. And it is nothing to feel ashamed or guilty for, just something to notice and then be aware of and on guard about. If we are not aware of this, it is very easy to fall into the temptation of becoming a premature guru and forget to do the course altogether, or even worse, a risk of becoming unkind and losing any sense of compassion for others and being so worried about 'looking' spiritual that you may say totally hurtful things at the worst times, like telling people that death is not real at a funeral, or telling a very sick person that 'sickness is a defense against truth' and rather then being helpful, we end up becoming the bearers of fear and pain for that person, basically going the ego route.

In reality all the course calls us to do and be is kind and to join with others in the most helpful way they can accept. That is all.

Additionally, just because people read the course, it doesn't mean they are living it one hundred percent of the time and they can be expected to behave like angels or enlightened beings. So another form or resistance is to look for faults in spiritual students and teachers and point them out as 'evidence' that the teachings they usually represent do not work.

Another form of resistance is to master the material, the book's contents intellectually and be able to quote it right and left, but not to live it at all, just appear as if you do. I'd say the large majority of students spend a great deal of time in their lifetime in this stage.

Resistance ultimately is nothing but a fear that has to be overcome because the fear is to disappear into oblivion if you follow the course. As the course says, to the ego the logic is upside-down and awakening means oblivion (paraphrasing). This is something to forgive when we perceive it going on. Not something to deny, ignore or feel ashamed of or guilty for.

However there are also those who live it and you can tell "by their fruits" as is the case of Ken Wapnick, whom I happened to meet two years ago and saw again this summer in Atlanta. If you happen to be able to visit with him personally will help you experience what a student of this course that has practiced its teachings for a few decades consistently turns into. Just humble, loving, unassuming, unaffected, happy, contagiously happy and sincere in his brotherhood as he extends it to you in the best way he knows that you need to receive this precious gift. All in all, a pretty normal loving fellow. There are others, but he is just one that comes to mind.

Resistance is not overcome with resistance though, only like darkness, with light. And light only comes when we actually move the hand and flip the switch, not when we talk about it. The consistent practice of self-observation and forgiveness slowly turns resistance into nothing at all.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

That was so well put, very interesting as well as informative and helpful to anyone studying ACIM. The part: use words like "dear one" and "sweetie" and "beloved"... always struck me in a weird way and now this clarified it without me thinking I was being judgemental. I now get it and understand why they do it. It's ok and now I'll just chuckle over it.
One day I'll have to do my MT impersonation for you, if we ever meet in person.
Thanks sweetie...I kid :-)

Anonymous said...

SORRY TO COMMENT ANONYMOUS. I DON'T HAVE A GOOGLE ACCOUNT. HOWEVER JUST WANT TO DROP YOU A NOTE TO LET YOU KNOW I HAVE ENJOYED READING THIS POST AND NOT ONLY ENJOYED IT BUT HAVE BEEN HELPED BY IT. 'THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS' AND JUST YESTERDAY I WAS WONDERING WHY I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE READING THE COURSE ANY MORE AND NOW I KNOW. IT'S RESISTANCE. THANK YOU.
JIM C.

Unknown said...

Thank you Lucia for helping to name the experience we all seem to have at varying times. It amazes me when I find myself not even wanting to do that which I "know" is in my best interest. I seem to have an addiction to doing things my way. (Yes, at times I'd rather be "right than happy!" How foolish it seems when I eventually come to myself. And of course I forgive myself for valuing falsely.) I see DU and ACIM as key tools for bringing me back to practicing turning on the light.

Anonymous said...

People should read this.